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You’re ruining my heart
Mom: go to bed, it’s two hours passed your bed time 5 yr old: You’re ruining my heart Mom: Uh …. sniff
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ZZ Top
I’m pretty sad today. I heard ZZ Top broke up after all these years of being together. I heard they got into a fight, and it got really hairy.
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Too Many Eggs
4yr old girl: When I eat too many eggs, it makes my butt ‘splode.
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What’s a dictionary?
Had a thought, if you don’t know what a dictionary is, where do you go to look it up? “I know a guy who didn’t know what a dictionary was, but he didn’t know where to look it up.”
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Last Day
3 yr old: Last day is my birthday. Me: What is last day? 3 yr old: Last day was my birthday. Me: Oh, ‘last day’ is any day before today. Got it. Like yesterday. Last week, last month. How brilliant, last day means last day. Me: What do you call tomorrow? 3 yr old: (silence…