Author: mark

  • You’re ruining my heart

    Mom: go to bed, it’s two hours passed your bed time 5 yr old: You’re ruining my heart Mom: Uh …. sniff

  • ZZ Top

    I’m pretty sad today. I heard ZZ Top broke up after all these years of being together. I heard they got into a fight, and it got really hairy.

  • Too Many Eggs

    4yr old girl: When I eat too many eggs, it makes my butt ‘splode.

  • What’s a dictionary?

    Had a thought, if you don’t know what a dictionary is, where do you go to look it up? “I know a guy who didn’t know what a dictionary was, but he didn’t know where to look it up.”

  • Last Day

    3 yr old: Last day is my birthday. Me: What is last day? 3 yr old: Last day was my birthday. Me: Oh, ‘last day’ is any day before today. Got it. Like yesterday. Last week, last month. How brilliant, last day means last day. Me: What do you call tomorrow? 3 yr old: (silence…